


Earl Grey (or perhaps something a little stronger)

by Gondtithenniel



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Meet-Cute, Not Quite a Coffee Shop AU, Pre-Slash, Really it's just fluffy nonsense, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 18:46:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14816847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gondtithenniel/pseuds/Gondtithenniel
Summary: Bilbo Baggins just wanted to relax with a cuppa at his favorite cafe. Is that too much to ask? Running into Lobelia on a rampage and being distracted by a handsome stranger were not on his list of things to do.





	Earl Grey (or perhaps something a little stronger)

Bilbo walked into the lovely little coffee shop as he always did on Tuesdays before his 10:00 am lecture. The small cafe was wonderfully warm and cozy, and they served the most delightful blend of Earl Grey; just the pick-me-up he needed to brace himself for his first-year undergrad English Literature class. 

Unfortunately, his serene routine was interrupted as he stood patiently in line behind a tall, dark-haired man. The queue was particularly long today, apparently due to some sort of machinery malfunction, but Bilbo was in no hurry. As he glanced aimlessly at the small seating area, he spied his cousin at one of the tables, gossiping with one of her friends, cup of tea in hand. 

He was careful to make no sudden, attention-grabbing movements as he positioned the tall man between himself and Lobelia’s gaze. Although he’d gained a reprieve from his cousin’s attention, the tall stranger in front of him definitely noticed. Bilbo was treated to a single raised eyebrow that asked what the blazes he was doing better than any words. 

Bilbo raised a surreptitious finger to his lips as he peered around the unfairly handsome man’s ridiculously broad shoulders to check that he was still unnoticed. 

The gorgeous man’s other eyebrow rose to join the first, thin lips curving in reluctant amusement. Bilbo was momentarily distracted by striking, grey-blue eyes, a sharp nose, and chiseled features framed by a short beard, but he was, by the narrowest of margins, more afraid of attracting Lobelia’s attention. 

In the meantime, the queue had dwindled, and the last customer between gorgeous and the register left with her purchase. This left Bilbo in clear view of the young barista. 

“Good morning, Professor Baggins!” she greeted him cheerfully. She was a promising student in one of his classes. 

Normally, he would gladly reply in kind, but today he cringed, throwing a frantic glance Lobelia’s way. 

This confused the barista for a second before her mouth opened in a chagrined “O”. She winced as she mouthed “sorry,” her face the picture of apology. 

Lobelia’s sharp ears hadn’t missed the greeting, and she honed in on Bilbo like a bird of prey on a field mouse. 

Bilbo’s gaze darted around wildly, searching for escape. The handsome stranger’s lips were still quirked in reluctantly sympathetic amusement. 

Bilbo’s eyes narrowed speculatively, and he quickly whispered, “Please, for the love of tea and biscuits, please just play along. I _swear_ I’ll buy you a coffee later, but I’m out of options!”

So speaking, he grabbed gorgeous’s hand and stepped up, smiling falsely at Lobelia as she charged toward him. 

Bilbo ignored the surprise of the poor man next to him, focused on lying through his teeth to the bridezilla his cousin had become. 

“Hello, Lobelia, how are you this morning?” he asked pleasantly. 

“Bilbo Baggins!” Her strident tone made him flinch a little. “You don’t answer my texts, you ignore my calls, you’ve been avoiding going to Sunday dinner at Aunt Bella and Uncle Bungo’s, for heaven’s sake! I even considered sending you a bloody email, but I figured you wouldn’t answer that either. And don’t think I didn’t notice you hiding behind the canned goods to avoid me in the grocery the other day! What do you have to say for yourself?” 

Bilbo’s smile had soured a bit, so he dropped the expression and sighed resignedly. 

“Yes, I’ve been taking the avoidance to a bit of an extreme,” he admitted reluctantly, “but you keep trying to set me up on blind dates just so I’ll have a plus one for your wedding! You keep insisting you’ve found the perfect person, and it always ends in disaster - I told you about the cat, didn’t I? And the rainstorm? And the _cheese_?!” He shuddered involuntarily at that last question as he remembered the unfortunate incident with horror. 

“I can’t take it anymore!” Bilbo exclaimed in conclusion, throwing his hands up in exasperation. 

Except one hand was still tangled with the bemused stranger’s. 

Lobelia’s eyes widened at that, then narrowed, her lips pursing angrily. 

“You could have just told me you were seeing someone!” She pointed accusingly at gorgeous, who said nothing but stiffened slightly. 

“It’s new!” Bilbo defended fiercely. This wasn’t even a lie, precisely; it was just so new it was pretty much nonexistent. 

“I didn’t want to say until I knew if anything would come of it.” He shrugged awkwardly, and his mouth twisted into a rueful smile. 

This softened Lobelia, and she grabbed Bilbo up in a firm hug. He was still her favorite cousin, though most of their relationship consisted of sniping and arguments - nobody else could give as good as they got. 

“Fine, I give in for now,” she relented. “But don’t think I won’t come banging down your door if you don’t show up for Sunday dinner,” she warned. 

“Of course,” Bilbo acknowledged. 

After a quick check of her watch, Lobelia nodded briskly and marched off to grab her friend. 

As soon as they left the shop, Bilbo nearly collapsed in relief. 

“Thank you,” Bilbo said gratefully to the man who’d been kind (or surprised) enough to play along. 

“Your sister?” he asked, and oh dear lord, he had a deep, rumbling voice to go along with that beautiful face. 

“My cousin, but close enough,” Bilbo replied with a wry smile. He gestured for the man to proceed him to the register as he added, “I believe I owe you a drink.” 

Gorgeous cleared his throat and lifted their still-joined hands.

“Oh.” Bilbo flushed with embarrassment, dropping the man’s larger hand like it was on fire. 

“My name is Thorin Durin,” gorgeous introduced himself. He held out his hand for a proper shake. 

“Bilbo Baggins, at your service. Of course, you probably already gathered that.” Bilbo couldn’t remember having ever felt this flustered. 

Then Thorin smiled, white teeth flashing and beautiful blue eyes crinkling at the corners. Bilbo’s breath caught a little in his chest. 

“Pleasure to meet you,” Thorin assured him. They stood there smiling at each other like a pair of besotted idiots for a long moment. 

“Umm…” the barista gently interrupted, “sorry about that, Professor. Earl Grey on the house?” 

“Oh no, dear, don’t worry about it,” Bilbo reassured her. “That conversation should’ve happened a while ago. Though I’ll definitely have that tea now.” 

“And for you, sir?” she asked Thorin. 

“A small coffee, please.” 

Bilbo stopped Thorin as he reached for his wallet. 

“I said I’d owe you a coffee, didn’t I?” He smiled up at Thorin. 

The barista shot Bilbo a grin and thumbs-up after Thorin turned away. 

The two men sat with their drinks and talked until Bilbo was almost late for his class.


End file.
